Every time I read about the way Prince Harry and his brother Prince William were expected to behave after their beloved mother died, I feel sick. And my heart breaks all over again, especially for those boys. They were only 12 and 15, respectively, at the time. The expectations of the monarchy, and their father in particular, border on child abuse in my humble opinion. Obviously, Prince Harry’s pain is still raw, bottled up for so many years, now exploding in the form of tell-all documentaries and memoirs.

I was fascinated by Princess Diana. Her natural beauty, vivacious personality, and even her vulnerability were so magnetic and refreshing. One couldn’t help but feel though, that she was a sacrificial lamb led to slaughter by the monarchy. Once her role of producing an heir and a spare was completed, she was discarded. Like the rest of the world, I was shocked by her untimely death and the circumstances around it.

Fast forward twenty-five years. Many are quick to disparage the (no privacy here) format in which Prince Harry is airing his feelings and memories AKA dirty laundry. I can’t get past the pain I hear. After the ordeal he went through, how can his life not be affected? Through the years I’ve always preferred Harry to William but in all fairness, the stress and protocol of being the British heir must be soooo tough. Harry, as the spare, was able to break the rules more. He also seems to be more like his mother in personality. Her charisma, ease with people, sense of humor, and more shine through Harry. Although William looks more like his mom, I believe his personality (again dictated by his role) seems to be stuffier, more like Charles.

Most of the information here is from direct quotes from Harry’s memoir, titled “Spare,” for sale today but leaked in Spain last week. The things some people do for money! Now that all the “scoops” are out in all forms of social media, sales of the book cannot help but be affected.

Princes Harry and William Greeting the Mourners

 go into detail about how strange it was and how actually there was some guilt that I felt — and I think William felt as well — by walking around the outside of Kensington Palace,” he said. “Fifty-thousand bouquets of flowers to our mother and there we were shaking people’s hands, smiling. I’ve seen the videos, right? I’ve looked back over it all. And the wet hands that we were shaking — we couldn’t understand why their hands were wet, but it was all the tears they were wiping away. Everyone thought and felt like they knew our mum. And the two closest people to her, the two most loved people by her, were unable to show any emotion in that moment.

Prince Harry, talking about the days after his Mom’s tragic accident

Walking Behind the Coffin at the Funeral

This has bothered me for years. I could not understand it at the time and still cannot.

…it was decided that Princess Diana’s two sons — Prince Harry and Prince William — would walk behind her coffin in the procession through London at her funeral. And there’s absolutely no way that I would let him do that by himself, and there’s absolutely no way that he would let me do that by myself.

Prince Harry, talking about the days after his Mom’s tragic accident

This past September when I saw Prince Charles and his sister Anne wiping tears away as they walked behind their mother’s coffin I was sickened. Yes, the Queen was beloved for many more years than Princess Diana, but the Queen also lived a long, accomplished life. Her children left behind were adults (senior ones at that) while Princes Harry and William were mere children! Yet, they were expected to show no emotion.

Searching for Closure

Another excerpt from Prince Harry’s memoir details how he requested to drive through the tunnel in which his mother’s car crashed:

While attending the 2007 Rugby World Cup semifinal in Paris, a then 23-year-old Harry drove through the same tunnel where his mother died 10 years prior. In his new book, he recounts the intense pain he felt in his attempt to find closure.

After the driver took him through at the same speed that his mother’s car was driving, Harry wrote, “I’d always imagined the tunnel as some treacherous passageway, inherently dangerous, but it was just a short, simple, no-frills tunnel.”

Prince Harry also confessed to believing (or wanting to believe) that his mother faked her death to escape the media-filled attention her life still ……. long after divorcing Prince (at the time) Charles. For that reason, he requested to see pictures of the crash, even though they were in a secret government file. He was grateful the more graphic ones were excluded from those he was permitted to see:

I saw the photographs of the reflection of all the paparazzi in the window at the same time. I saw the back of her blonde hair, you know, slumped on the back of the seat.  I was looking for evidence that it was true”

Prince Harry

Don’t Believe the Media

I admit to believing much of what I read and see on TV, including many of the “leaked” excerpts from Prince Harry’s book. According to his (hilarious) visit to Stephen Colbert’s Late Night Show recently, many of these excerpts were taken completely out of context. And then plastered all over social media and the news, everywhere, for gullible people (like me) to believe. The story of his military time in Afghanistan was the worst. Watch the video of Prince Harry setting the record straight.

Healthy Soul Cleansing or TMI?

How do you feel about “Spare” and related Netflix airings? Is his soul-bearing justified or TMI? Maybe I am naïve but I hope the ensuing discussions will be productive and healing for both him and his brother. King Charles or Camilla I don’t much care about.

I wasn’t going to read “Spare” after hearing all the juicy excerpts for free but now I’ve heard his version of the truth, I may just purchase and read it.