For some reason, many of the blog posts I have been reading lately are about marriage and how to make it work. Although I am not officially qualified to counsel people on their marriages, I have lots of experience on the subject. I will have been married (to the same man) for 32 years this coming May, so although I have a few pieces of advice on the subject, my best advice is stolen from a man of few words…
Years ago, on the occasion of his 60th wedding anniversary, my grandfather offered these simple words of wisdom to family and friends gathered for the celebration: “you have to learn how to yield.” My husband was present at that celebration, although we were not yet married, so heard the same words of advice. Thirty-two years into our own marriage, those words of advice have served us well.
When two individuals that were raised under different circumstances try to merge their lives without learning how to yield, disastrous results can occur. Think of two vehicles on a road; when they try to merge together, one has to yield to the other. If they don’t an accident happens and no one is happy.
Unlike vehicle drivers on the road that must adhere to traffic signs to avoid conflict, there are no such signs to prevent conflict in a marriage. The trick in marriages is that you have to learn and decide what you are willing to yield to. Both individuals must acknowledge the need to yield or compromise. Viewpoints on religion, having and raising children, finances, education, careers, and even household decor are only a few subjects where opinions can differ between two individuals in a marriage.
Learning to yield or compromise is the key to success at merging different viewpoints into a lifestyle that works best for the two people in the relationship.
Cheers to yielding!